- I awoke to find that I had changed. I was physically the same, nonetheless, altered. Was this a waking shift, or had it occurred during r.e.m? For months I had been passing by the mirror only grabbing glances of my reflection in the peripheral of my sight. But today I looked. I stared. I saw myself, then through myself. I pierced through that divide between soul and spirit, the divide between what I appear to be and who I actually am. I peered into the void between my surrogate self and my true motives and desires, and I found myself transformed. Maybe this was just a pubescent delay of character development, a flaw in my makeup. Regardless, the genetic code of my ethos had been manipulated and now I stood there, in front of myself, divided. One foot in lost the other in found. I had become duplicitous in every way -loving what I once hated, hating what I once loved, needing what I never wanted, wanting what I couldn't have. Still this duplicity was reaped in truth as I had become a chasm, evenly divided in two distinct halves. I became the hostess for an oxymoronic paradox of all that resided within me. I couldn't allow this metaphysical metamorphosis to realize itself autonomously, so I installed more mirrors. The more I peered, the more I lost, the more I lost, the more I found. I found myself. It wasn't me who had changed, it was my truth. I was living in reality, yes, but that reality was not my truth. So today I change my reality. Today my soul and spirit collide. I'm wanting what I couldn't have, having what I always wanted, and wanting what I always loved; YOU.